What No One Tells You About Motherhood: How to Know When to Step Away
TV and social media makes us think we’re supposed to have it together at all times. Like motherhood is just this amazing photoshoot of you and your daughter in matching outfits. You and I both know there is so much more to it than that. You are shaping and molding the mind of a literal person to make him into the best person he can possibly be in this world so that when he grows up he can contribute to the world the very best of himself.
I don’t know if you’ve ever tried to mold something into the perfect shape, but I’m here to tell you it takes a hell of a lot of elbow grease and patience. Your arms are tired and your back hurts from bending over your project, but you keep going because you’re holding this beautiful image of the final product in your mind.
I’ll say it again and again and again, motherhood is hard work. It takes a hell of a lot of elbow grease, emotional endurance, patience, love, and tenderness to get through it and come out on the other side whole. It’s a lifetime job. You can never clock out and go home. You can never go on vacation. There is no calling out sick. You are literally shaping a person.
There are and will be more times when you look at your small person as she’s screaming and hollering like she’s being murdered the same way she’s been screaming and hollering all week even though you’ve given her everything she could possibly want and need, and you know she’s doing all of this for no reason, where you’ll feel overwhelmed with rage, frustration, and a few more negative emotions. You’ll literally stand there staring at her in awe that she has brought you to this point where you want to hurt her.
Walk the eff out of the room, close the door to muffle the noise, and go outside. Walk around for a few minutes to clear your mind, and take in the air slowly in and out. Cry because you know you want to. Scream if you need to. Let out everything you need to release far away from her so that it doesn’t affect her in anyway. Go kick a tree over and over again. Throw rocks at the side of your house as hard as you can. Rip grass from the ground and throw it back down where you pulled it from. Whatever you have to do to reel it in.
There will always be those moments in your journey as a mother that bring you to this point. It’s a part of the job, and there isn’t really going to be anything you can do to stop them. No one talks about them. No one warns you about them. There is no heads up. They just happen, and you have to recognize that you’re about to lose control and completely step away.
Sometimes you’ll feel so overwhelmed from everything that goes into being a mom. Sometimes you’ll sit there and cry because you don’t know what to do. Sometimes you’ll want to run away and never come back. Sometimes you’ll stare into space wondering how you got here and what the freak you’re even doing. Sometimes you’ll doubt that you’re even qualified for this. Sometimes you’ll feel like you’re doing everything wrong and you’re ruining your baby instead of raising him to be the best he can be. It’s all apart of the job.
None of us really know what the hell we’re doing. It sounds bad, but motherhood is trial and error, live and learn. You do what you can with what you know to avoid all bad things and embrace all good things, but there are some things you’re not going to learn until you eff it up. And then you can say “well that doesn’t work” or “that’s really bad for her” or “I can’t believe I didn’t know about that and I’ve been feeding it to him this whole time”.
Trial and error. It sounds bad, but you have never done this before. This is a job you took that offered no training and required no experience. You learn along the way. Stepping back is one of those things you learn in the moment that you ever even have to do and not only that, but also, you need to do it if you’re going to retain your sanity.
There are even some times, especially for stay at home moms, when you need a break from your baby completely. You need someone to take your little hell raiser for a few hours or a few days to give you room to remember who you even are and that you’re important. That’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with needing time to yourself away from your children.
Take a step back from your little one. Ask for help. Take a break. You’ll feel so refreshed and ready to take on the world when you get your baby back. And you’ll feel so much calmer and in control when you come back inside after you hurled every rock you could find into the brick siding of your house.
As usual, thanks for stopping by babes. Let me know in the comments if you’ve ever had any moments where you felt like you were going to lose your mind. How did you deal with it?
Comments
Post a Comment