Breastfeeding VS. Bottle Feeding

Breast is Best…?

This is the most annoying argument in the world to me, but it’s still happening and getting more and more prevalent. Should I breastfeed? It is okay if I bottle feed? I didn’t realize it was such a real cause of anxiety for a lot of women. When I was pregnant with my son, I didn’t give it much thought. I knew I would primarily breast feed, but I didn’t mind substituting a bottle when I needed to. 

There’s this whole mantra “breast is best”. It is true that breast is healthier. Breast has so many benefits for your baby. You’ve read all the articles about it. You know all the incredible things your superhuman body puts in that milk for your baby. I totally support any woman that wants to or is trying to breastfeed her baby, and will offer any help I can to help should you be struggling with it (and it’s a struggle at first, but we’ll get into that another time).

Guilty Mama

While I truly do support the fact that breast is healthier, I hate the mantra “breast is best”. It causes so much guilt and anxiety in those women that either can’t or don’t want to breastfeed. Imagine being one of those women, or maybe you are one of those women. How would it/does it feel when breastfeeding is held over your head constantly even though you can’t do it? 

I was talking to one of my sisters a couple of days ago, and this subject happened to come up. She didn’t breastfeed my niece. My niece still gets formula (she’s nine months now, with her little, cute self), and I never paid it any attention. She talked to me about how guilty she felt that she didn’t breastfeed. She tried when baby girl first got here, but it just didn’t work. I never once considered the fact that she would feel guilty for not being able to breastfeed my niece. Why should she feel guilty about that?

She’s a wonderful mother to her daughter. My niece is fed and nourished every single day. She is loved and taken care of. She’s provided for. She will never know neglect or abandonment. She’s a joy to our lives and this world, and I’m sure she can feel that love all around her from her family. My sister shouldn’t have to feel guilty about not being able to breastfeed her daughter. Baby girl is healthy. That’s what matters.

Fed is Best

FED IS BEST! Your baby will be nourished regardless or whether it’s from a bottle or your breast. I absolutely do not support any mantra that makes any woman feel bad about herself and her choices as a mother. As mothers, especially experienced mothers to any new mothers, we should support one another. We should be supportive and understanding.

Motherhood is so hard. It’s so hard. The last thing we need to worry about as mothers is that we’re not good mothers. Sure, educate women about breastfeeding. Spread the information about the benefits of it. Some women just don’t know. Some women weren’t raised around women that breastfed and are just ignorant of the entire aspect of it as a whole. Education about breastfeeding is wonderful and encouraged by myself. Hell, I’ll tell you whatever you want to know about it. I breastfed my son for a year and a half. 

That being said, some women literally cannot breastfeed. Some women don’t make enough breast milk and end up choosing formula over malnourishment for her baby. Some women just don’t want to do it. Some women don’t feel like sacrificing their bodies any longer after pregnancy to breastfeed. That’s fine. That’s your choice as a mother. The point is to educate yourself and make an informed decision. 

Breasts and Things

On the other hand, and this is from my experience as a breastfeeding mom, we shouldn’t make mothers feel bad for breastfeeding either. I was nagged so much for breastfeeding my child as long as I did. I found myself feeling bad that my son was over a year old and still breastfeeding. There were a lot of people who made me feel like I was coddling him. Even his dad started pressuring me about when I was going to wean my own baby.

From the very moment I decided to breastfeed my son, mostly everyone had an opinion about whether I should even do it, how I should do it, where I should do it, how long I should do it for, and so on. I’m not a pushover in the slightest bit. When I make up my mind to do something, I do it without any care how it makes anyone feel, especially if it’s in the best interest of myself and my children. So standing up to most of this nonsense was a little easier for me than it is for other women. 

But even with my strong will, I still doubted myself and my decisions. I found myself wondering if I should breastfeed. Was it worth it? Would it be better to just give him the bottle to silence the noise? I found myself thinking that I would fit in more with other mothers if I bottle fed instead of breast fed. Even my son’s first pediatrician (she was admittedly a terrible pediatrician) assumed, without even asking me, that I bottle fed him, and then proceeded to act extremely surprised that I breast fed. Cue eye rolls. 

Judgement

It is an unfortunate reality that we mamas will be judged no matter what decisions we make for ourselves and our children. It’s unfortunate that women are made to feel guilty whether they choose to breast or bottle feed. It’s unfortunate that there is always someone who thinks you’re not parenting your children properly, and it is most unfortunate that they feel comfortable enough in their assholery to voice their thoughts.

We have to be confident in the way we raise our children. We have to be confident in the decisions we make as moms, especially when those decisions are in favor of our God given mommy instincts. You are an amazing mama. Any decision you make, and you know this, is in the best interest of your baby and yourself. Because of that fact, stand strong in the way you parent YOUR children, and ignore the judgemental ass comments from your ignorant ass uncle who never pushed out a freaking human in his life and never will.

Just remember, fed is best. Fed is best, babe. If you can’t breastfeed, that is okay. If you choose to breastfeed and can, even better. You are a wonderful mother. So ignore the noise, and live your life, girl. 

As always, thanks for stopping by. Don’t forget to leave a comment and let me know what you think. Where do you stand on this whole issue?

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